The Drive Down.

The Vacation: Myrtle Beach is a long way from here, and with the exception of noise-baffling walls in urban centres, the drive looked a hell of a lot like this:

I was surprised at how green the interstates are - there was a lack of structures, including big commercial areas, bordering the highway, where you'd normally see plenty of stuff in Canada. There would be the occassional building and such for sure, but more often just trees and fields and intermittent farmhouses, or run-down shacks. Most of the built up areas were kept just off the interstates, on an exit.

Americans use their cars as personal billboards way more than Canadians. Almost all of them had a ribbon sticker (Support Our Troops, or the like) and/or bumper stickers that presented a personal opinion to the world. Actually seen on cars: 'What Would Jesus Bomb', and 'If I Knew It Would Turn Out Like This, I'd Have Picked My Own Cotton' (!!). Then we'd come across the airbrushed vehicles; instead of vans, a la the `70s, it seems murals on motorhomes have become de rigeur. This was one of the more awesome examples:
While built up areas bordering the interstates were lacking, the preponderance of billboards was not. There were TONS of them. Some of the interstate tourist-trap-style retailers had billboards every mile for 50 miles: it was crazy. My favourite of the bunch, though, interspersed with the Jesus/Bible-quote billboards, were these, advertising a roadside sex-shop and topless restaurant called Cafe Risque:
We also ended up driving past a `wideload' (insert 'Americans are fat' joke here). They were big, pre-fab houses, and in the windows was a FEMA sign. They must have been on their way down to the Gulf Coast as part of Katrina relief efforts.

Other fun adventures on the drive down: 1) driving aimlessly through an economically-depressed area of Richmond, VA, looking for a TGI Fridays. We saw a guy being arrested by the cops (three cruisers, one dude), an aimless pack of youths hanging around the parking lot of an abandoned drugstore, and many hydraulically-enhanced automobiles. Needless to say, we (relatively) quickly got back to our hotel, and ordered Subway from the outlet across the street. 2) driving aimlessly and taking random exits in a vain attempt to find Starbuck's coffee. Note: we counted a total of 3 that were interstate-accessible on the 16 hour drive, so bring your own. 3) The Burger King Meatnormous breakfast sandwich. This delicacy includes an omlette, and all three types of breakfast meats: Ham, Bacon, AND Sausage. It brings to mind the Good Morning Burger from the Simpsons ('we take a pound of beef, soak it in rich creamery butter, top it off with a fried egg.....') Jerry was the only adventurer brave enough to take on the Meatnormous, and let's just say, he lost. Losing included bathroom stops every 20 miles for a couple hours, and dry heaving into a plastic bag while hurtling down the interstate at 90 miles an hour.

(cont'd.....)