CSI: North Pole

So, I'm killing time today providing witty rejoinders over email, when I came up with a new CSI show idea, or Movie of the Week special, just in time for the holiday season. Here's how the show would open:

CSI: North Pole

Establishing shot:
The scene opens on an elf party - it is Christmas Eve, their work is done, and they are celebrating the day as they usually do, with plenty of sex, booze, and rave music.

Medium shot:
Quick cut to two elves, one M, one F, doing some sexy dancing. They are obviously very `into' each other, if you catch Santa's drift. A second F elf storms up behind them, pulls them apart, and proceeds to b*tch-slap the first F elf - obviously some tension over the dude. As the first F elf storms away in the direction of the reindeer pen, the second F elf slips into her place, and proceeds to `dance' with the M.

Close shot, later the same evening:
The first F has been trampled to a bloody pulp in the reindeer pen. All of the reindeer have bloody hooves. Santa finds the body as he tramps out towards the pen with his sack full of toys, getting ready to leave on his annual journey.

Medium Shot:
Reindeer pen with yellow police tape around it. Gil Grissom in a parka taking pictures. He looks up, gestures towards Santa, who is sitting off to the side, obviously in shock and pulling from a whiskey bottle, and says `Whoever did this is definitely on his naughty list'.

Quick cut to open sequence and music.